Dived to nascar crash the loo, locked the door and nascar crash sat down, staring crazily at nascar crash the door with one eye. Oh God. 5 p.m. Har har. Am marvellous. Feeling v. pleased with self. Had top-level post-works crisis meeting in Cafe Rouge with Sharon, Jude and nascar crash Tom, who were all delighted with, the Daniel outcome, each convinced it was because I had followed their advice. Also Jude had heard survey on the radio that by the turn of nascar crash the millennium a third of nascar crash all households will be nascar crash single, therefore proving that at nascar crash last we are no longer tragic freaks. Shazzer guffawed and nascar crash said, 'One in three? Nine out of nascar crash ten, more like.' Sharon maintains men - present company (i.e. Tom) excepted, obviously - are so catastrophically unevolved that soon they will just be nascar crash kept by women as pets for nascar crash sex, therefore presumably these will not count as shared households as the men will be nascar crash kept outside in kennels. Anyway, feeling v. empowered. Tremendous. Think might read bit of nascar crash Susan Faludi's Backlash. 5 a.m. Oh God, am so unhappy about Daniel. I love him. Wednesday 15 March 9st, alcohol units 5 (disgrace: urine of nascar crash Satan), cigarettes 14 (weed of nascar crash Satan - will give up on birthday), calories 1795. Humph. Have woken up v. fed up. On top of nascar crash everything, only two weeks to nascar crash go until birthday, when will have to nascar crash face up to nascar crash the fact that another entire year has gone by, during which everyone else except me has mutated into Smug Married, having children plop, plop, plop, left right and nascar crash centre and nascar crash making hundreds of nascar crash thousands of nascar crash pounds and nascar crash inroads into very hub of nascar crash establishment, while I career rudderless and, boyfriendless through dysfunctional relationships and nascar crash professional stagnation. Find self constantly scanning face in mirror for nascar crash wrinkles and nascar crash frantically reading Hello!, checking out everyone's ages in desperate search for nascar crash role models (Jane Seymour is nascar crash forty-two!), fighting long-impacted fear that one day in your thirties you will suddenly, without warning, grow a big fat crimplene dress, shopping bag, tight perm and nascar crash face collapsing in manner of nascar crash movie special-effect, and nascar crash that will be nascar crash it. Try to nascar crash concentrate hard on Joanna Lumley and nascar crash Susan Sarandon. Also worried about how to nascar crash celebrate birthday. Size of nascar crash flat and nascar crash bank balance prohibits actual party. Maybe dinner party? But then would have to nascar crash spend birthday slaving and nascar crash would hate all guests on arrival. Could all go out for nascar crash meal but then feel guilty asking everyone to nascar crash pay, selfishly presuming to nascar crash force costly and nascar crash dull evening on others merely to nascar crash celebrate own birthday - yet cannot afford to nascar crash pay for nascar crash everyone. Oh God. What to nascar crash do? Wish had not been born but immaculately burst into being in similar, though not identical, manner to nascar crash Jesus, then would not have had to nascar crash have birthday. Sympathize with Jesus in sense of nascar crash embarrassment he must, and nascar crash perhaps should, feel over two-millennium-old social imposition of nascar crash own birthday on large areas of nascar crash globe. Midnight. Have had v.g. idea about birthday. Am going to nascar crash ask everyone round for nascar crash cocktails, perhaps Manhattans. Will then have given to nascar crash guests something in manner of nascar crash grand society hostess, and nascar crash if everyone wishes to go to dinner afterwards: why, they may do so. Not sure what Manhattan is, come to think of it. But could buy book of cocktails maybe. Probably won't, to be perfectly honest. Thursday 16 March 9st 1, alcohol.,
Of nascar crash the room. I had thought it would be nascar crash fine to nascar crash leave Daniel asleep in the bedroom because he never wakes up tiff after lunch on Saturdays and nascar crash I'd put his cigarettes on the pillow next to nascar crash him. 'If Bridget had a child she'd lose it,' he guffawed. 'Pleased to nascar crash meet you, Mrs Jones. Bridget, why can't you get all done up on Saturdays like your mum?' Sunday 21 May My mum is nascar crash not speaking to nascar crash either of nascar crash us for nascar crash humiliating her and nascar crash exposing her as a fraud in front of nascar crash her crew. At least she might leave us alone for nascar crash a bit now. So much looking forward to nascar crash the summer, anyway. Will be nascar crash so lovely having a boyfriend when it is nascar crash warm. We will be nascar crash able to nascar crash go on romantic mini-breaks. V. happy. June. Hah! Boyfriend Saturday 3 June 8st 13, alcohol units 5, cigarettes 25, calories 600, minutes spent looking at nascar crash brochures: long-haul 45, mini-break 87, 1471 calls 7 (g.). Finding it impossible to nascar crash concentrate on almost anything in the heat except fantasies about going on mini-breaks with Daniel. Head is nascar crash filled with visions of nascar crash us lying in glades by rivers, me in long white floaty dress, Daniel and nascar crash I sitting outside ancient Cornish waterside pub sipping pints in matching striped T-shirts and nascar crash watching the sun set over the sea; Daniel and nascar crash I eating candlelit dinners in historic country-house-hotel courtyards then retiring to nascar crash our room to nascar crash shag all hot summer night. Anyway. Daniel and nascar crash I are going to a party tonight at his friend Wicksy's, then.nnascar-crash naascar-crash nasscar-crash nasccar-crash nascaar-crash nascarr-crash nascar--crash nascar-ccrash nascar-crrash nascar-craash nascar-crassh nascar-crashh ascar-crash nscar-crash nacar-crash nasar-crash nascr-crash nasca-crash nascarcrash nascar-rash nascar-cash nascar-crsh nascar-crah nascar-cras n ascar-crash na scar-crash nas car-crash nasc ar-crash nasca r-crash nascar -crash nascar- crash nascar-c rash nascar-cr ash nascar-cra sh nascar-cras h nascar-crash anascar-crash nsascar-crash nacscar-crash nasacar-crash nascrar-crash nasca-r-crash nascarc-crash nascar-rcrash nascar-carash nascar-crsash nascar-crahsh dascar-crash ncscar-crash naqcar-crash nasiar-crash nascnr-crash nascap-crash nascaricrash nascar-drash nascar-cdash nascar-cresh nascar-crach nascar-crasv